Thursday It's Cool To Be Dumb!

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TODAY'S READ!

IT'S THURSDAY !

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The Day Set Aside Where...

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It's Cool To Be And Act DUMB!

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Set Aside For Thinking!

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Bart Simpson Chalkboard Sayings

1.) I will not waste chalk

2.) I will not skateboard in the halls

3.) I will not burp in class

4.) I will not instigate revolution

5.) I will not draw naked ladies in class

6.) I did not see Elvis

7.) I will not call my teacher 'Hot Cakes'

8.) Garlic gum is not funny

9.) They are laughing at me, not with me

10.) I will not yell "fire" in a crowded classroom

11.) I will not encourage others to fly

12.) I will not fake my way through life

13.) Tar is not a plaything

14.) I will not Xerox my butt

15.) I will not trade pants with others

16.) I will not do that thing with my tongue

17.) I will not drive the principal's car

18.) I will not pledge allegiance to Bart

19.) I will not sell school property

20.) I will not cut corners

21.) I will not get very far with this attitude

22.) I will not make flatulent noises in class

23.) I will not belch the National Anthem

24.) I will not sell land in Florida

25. I will not grease the monkey bars

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My Personal Feelings

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Touchy Feely Thingy's Section

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What a GREAT bunch of bloggers!

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I Love you people!

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Without You Fellow Bloggers

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All I would have is ?

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A DAY WITHOUT SUNSHINE!

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And That My Friend

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Would

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SUCK!

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Thank You!

Tuesday a Day for Thinking

NICKERSONSTORES.COM*The Webs Home For Gags - Pranks - Jokes and More!

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IT'S TUESDAY !

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A Day Mankind

Set Aside For Thinking!
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Warning Labels

1.) On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping."


2.) On a bag of Fritos: "You could be winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."


3.) On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap."


4.) On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost."

5.) On a tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): "Do not turn upside down."

6.) On bread pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."

7.) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."


8.) On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication"

9.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

10.) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."

11.) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."


12.) On peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts."

13.) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: Fly Delta.)

14.) On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."


15.) On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands ."

16.) On a bottle of Palmolive Dishwashing liquid: "Do not use on food."


17.) On a tube of Crest Toothpaste: "If swallowed contact poison control."


18.) On a bottle of ALL laundry detergent: "Remove clothing before using in
washing machine."

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WANT TO MAKE THE BIG BUCKS?
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My Personal Feelings & Touchy Feely Thingy's
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What a GREAT bunch of bloggers!I Love you people!
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Without You Fellow Bloggers
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All I have is ?
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A DAY WITHOUT SUNSHINE!
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And That Would
SUCK!
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Thank You!

Monday Blues Not So Blue For Most

NICKERSONSTORES.COM
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The Webs Home For Gags - Pranks - Jokes and More!
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Presents
*IT'S MONDAY !

(Aka) - BLUE MONDAY

BUT NOT SO BLUE THIS MONDAY
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THANK GOD FOR HOLIDAYS!
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HOW ABOUT A FEW JOKES FOR FUN!

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Educational Stuff First!

Words With Two Meanings

Thingy (thing-ee) n.
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

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Vulnerable (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing football without a cup.

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Communication (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

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Commitment (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

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Entertainment (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

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Flatulence (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

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Remote Control (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

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THEN THE FUN STUFF!

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As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful!" "Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

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What do you get when you run over a parakeet with a lawnmower? Shredded tweet.

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Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

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A Man sits down at a table in a restaurant and asks the waitress:

"Do you serve breakfast here?"

"Sure; what'll it be?" the waitress responds.
"I'll have some watery scrambled eggs .. and some burnt toast ... and some weak coffee, lukewarm." says the man.
"Whatever you say, sir." says the waitress.
The man then says "Now, are you doing anything while the order is going through?"
"Why - no sir." she responds.
"Great" says the man "then sit here and nag me a while ... I'm homesick!"

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WANT TO MAKE THE BIG BUCKS?

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All you need is a website!

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Everything is FREE!

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It will NEVER cost you anything to join!

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Start Today and begin making REAL Money!
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To Get Started:-CLICK HERE

My Personal Feelings & Touchy Feely Thingy's

..........................................................................

What a GREAT bunch of bloggers!
I Love you people!

*

Without You Fellow Bloggers

*

All I have is ?

*

A DAY WITHOUT SUNSHINE!

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And That Would

SUCK!

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Thank You!

Sunday A Day To Reflect

NICKERSONSTORES.COM

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The Internet Place For Gags - Pranks - Jokes and More!

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Presents

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IT'S SUNDAY !

TIME FOR A BREAK

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SOMETHING EASY

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HOW ABOUT Hummmm...

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The Differences Between High School and College

1.) - In high school, you do homework. In college, you study.

2.) - No food is allowed in the hall in high school.
In college, food must be provided at an event before students will come.

3.) - In high school, you wear your backpack on one shoulder; in college, on both.

4.) - In college, the professors can tell you the answer without looking at
the teacher's guide.

5.) - In college, there are no tardy slips.

6.) - In high school, you have to live with your parents. In college, you
get to live with your friends.

7.) - In college, you don't have to wait in a certain lunch line to be cool.

8.) - Only nerds e-mailed in high school. (Cool kids hadn't heard of it.)

9.) - In high school, you're told what classes to take. In college, you get to
choose; that is, as long as the classes don't conflict and you have the
prerequisites and the classes aren't closed and you've paid your tuition.

10.) - In high school, if you screw up you can usually sweet-talk your way
out of it. In college, you're lucky to ever talk with the professor.

11.) - In high school, fire drills are planned by the administration; in college, by the drunk frat boys on their way home when the bars close.

12.) - In college, any test consists of a larger percentage of your grade than your high school final exams ever did.

13.) - In high school, when the teacher said, "Good morning," you mumbled back. In college, when the professor says, "Good morning," you write it down.

14.) - In high school, freshman guys hit on senior girls. In college, senior guys hit on freshman girls.

15.) - In college, weekends start on Thursday.

16.) - In college, it's much more difficult to figure out the course schedule of the man/woman you have a crush on, in order to figure out where he/she will be walking around campus and at what time to find them there.

17.) - Once you've obtained the information described in #16, it's much more time -consuming to run between classes to that place where you know he/she will be in order to "just happen to bump into him/her."

18.) - In college, there's no one to tell you not to eat pizza three meals a day.

19.) - In college, your dad doesn't pay for dates.

20.) - In high school, it never took 3 or 4 weeks to get money from Mom and Dad.

21.) - College guys are cuter than high school boys.

22.) - College women are legal.

23.) - In college, when you miss a class (or two or three), you don't need a note from your parents saying you were skip....uh, sick that day.

24.) - In high school, you can't go out to lunch because it's not allowed. In college, you can't go out to lunch because you can't afford it.

25.) - In college, you can blow off studying by writing lists like this.

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